Too many people have experienced the moment of being told they or a loved one has cancer.
Those words are an unforgettable moment. I still get a sickening feeling thinking back.
If I had to relive the last stretch of our journey from Diagnosis Day to Cancer Free, here is a road map of what we would do. This battle is fought on many fronts, and it is a full-on war – Spiritually, Mentally, Emotionally, and Physically.
As a parent, this is what I wish I had known.
1. Spiritual Front – Forgive
This may seem odd or out of place, but forgiveness and letting go any bit of hate in your heart sets the foundation for the spiritual battle. Forgive everyone, including yourself. In the grand scheme of things, does hatred make anything better? As I looked at my baby lying in that hospital bed, my hatred for those who I perceived wronged me didn’t save his life. Therefore it didn’t matter. It’s an incredible and freeing feeling to let go.
“14 For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, 15 but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.” Mathew 6:14-152.
2. Mental Front
Frame your thinking forward and positive while focusing on the areas of control. Letting the mind dwell on the past or looking for answers to why only takes way valuable time for fighting in the areas that make a difference. Focus on the things that can be controlled. Backward thinking is a spiraling cycle into despair. It’s easy to fall victim to and will not provide fruits.
3. Emotional Front
Surround yourself with positive people who speak positively. Negativity, worry, fear are cancers of the mind and will destroy the emotional state. The foundation of beating cancer is found first in the mind and spirit. It is better to be alone and pray than to be around anything but positive.
4. Physical Front – support the body.Nutrition is absolutely vital. –
Here are the guidelines we live by http://bit.ly/LanderMan – Lander took the chemo Vincristine and it is notorious for causing constipation, making increased fiber a necessity. The physical front is why focusing on the areas we can control are so important. There is a lot and for most utterly different than everyday life leading up to here. Measure water intake daily and keep it in a journal, along with bowel movements. Little details matter and can be the difference between smooth sailing and a nightmare. I’ve lived the nightmare, and words can not describe the experience.
The microbiome must be a focus. Lander would have had the gut microbiome test at the first chance. This is the one significant change I would have done differently by doing it sooner. Here is the exact kit – https://www.viome.com/ and follow the result recommendations.
15 Min Video on Viome
Take high-quality probiotics. We use Dr. Ohhira’s, BIOHM and Seed. The gut microbiome is an extensive subject with new research emerging daily. It’s becoming more and more evident many chemos and immunotherapies’ effectiveness is related to bacteria, either by the lack or presence of individual species.
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6145523/https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2017/09/170918100656.htm
Take a Multivitamin and Omega 3 supplement. – Confirm with Oncology the vitamins are compatible with chemotherapy drugs.
https://meandmcgeemarket.com/multivitamins-and-omegas/
Skincare and oral hygiene importance are incredibly significant. I smothered Lander with Vitamin E and Jojoba Oil continuously as well as regularly giving him Epsom salt baths with coconut oil. Lander had so many comments about how good his skin looked. Skin is our largest organ and the barrier from the outside world. It performs many critical functions and has to be supported.
Use sugar-free gum, mouthwash and teeth brush regularly. With a compromised immune system from the chemo and radiation, the mouth bacteria can not be allowed to get out of hand.
Get sunshine and fresh air. From battlefront perspectives, it helps every one of them. Listen to positive music all the time. Lander’s love of music and my unwillingness to allow anything but positive caused us to have a short playlist we wore out. Those songs will forever have a special place in my heart.
Pray more with a heart of gratitude. Every night I ask the kids what they want to thank God for doing for us. I am so thankful for our trials, as hard as they have been because the first-hand experience has focused my life to help others get through. I wouldn’t be typing this had I not lived it. My deepest desire is these words give guidance and hope. God ultimately is in control.